Bad Day on the Laptop

Bad Day on the Laptop

May I say? In all humility, the digital world truly sucks!

The digital world is like a zany puzzle that doesn’t know what it wants to be, crossword or otherwise. How many frigging minds are destroyed by its wacky configurations? I Hate You, Internet! In all humility!

It is as though those who put all the strange turns and twists to this digital empire smile with elitist glee because THEY KNOW what it’s all about, and everyone outside their ranks will have to pay dearly for their knowledge, like, buying a brand new laptop every year because of its promise to do more than the one you just bought six months ago…you Idiot! Me, Idiot! You, Tarzan, big man!

Yes, it’s a frigging elite club to whom only those who have bizarre technical skills can belong. All others: here, have some scraps of our earlier too mucky bulky, too easy gizmos with which we can no longer torment you; here, you poor saps who put up with the gyrations, constant aggravations, try these new and better applications, add more to your insane cravings; here, you dumb non-nerds, have an elixir WE put together just for you, an ‘SEO Friendly Content Download’ to go with your WORD PROGRAM – you will love it! Oh, AND good luck downloading it with all our (heh, heh!) easy as pie explanations. (Heh, heh!)

May I say, ‘Go to HELL with your satanic torturing of one’s mind and ego. Up yours! I can’t be more hostile because the frigging ‘Space Cadet Internet Cops’ will come and put me out of my misery.

May I say, ‘Up your YING-YANGS, you merciless bunch of societal rejects. May all your stupid circuit boards turn on you and make you the morons you’ve tried to make me! Oh, hell, who am I kidding! the moron you’ve made me!

AND, for those of you who somehow kept your sanity and mastered this damned time-consuming nano-piece of nothing and walk around acting like ‘know-it-alls’ with smiles on your stupid faces, up yours, too!

May I say, I hate you!

AND, will the ‘Internet Ward Nurse’ take this damned straightjacket off me? It’s difficult typing with my proboscis!

Hate You!

Hate You!

Hate You!

Billy Ray Chitwood – November 15, 2018

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There is Room

There is Room

  Along the lonely road I met an old man who sang a soft melodic song that spoke to me in so many ways, his gnarled fingers chording an old guitar that seemed to know so exactly, so enchantingly, and so beautifully where his sad and lonely words were going.

  I stood and listened until his song ended, mesmerized by the sounds and the words. My tears were his tears, his tears mine, and his song was my song, words, music, and all.

  When I awoke the tears still flowed down my cheeks, the words and music of the song would lay upon me in the twilight of my days.

*

There is Room

There is room for you here – it’s not so crowded, now that night is over and the demon sleeps in his coffin of forgetfulness…

There is room beside me, though the heat in my body has dwelled for a while in the dampness of the past heroic epic of chance…

There is room for you here by this still infernal longing of my soul that speaks to me of a thousand things I could have done…

There is room beside the silent tempest that yet rages within the bounds my mind can reach in too much absurdity…

There is room here in the twilight of a life spent recklessly and with oft a hope some willing star would enter its pitiable tenderness…

There is room here near the weariness from joys sought, found, and lost through carelessness of one final salute to Bacchus…

There is room here among the decay of confusion and doubt, among the abandoned hearts of love’s labor lost, sought and found…

Come join me – read my tales, hear my soul’s somber chorus, hear a fool awaking to a yawning maw of darkness and despair…

There is room…

*

Billy Ray Chitwood – November 12, 2018

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The First 5-Star Review

THE FIRST 5-STAR REVIEW

FOR

“The Pickett Factor”

5.0 out of 5 stars: Billy Ray Chitwood does it again!

by Dr. Timothy Tays

November 4, 2018

Format: Kindle Edition

I’ve come to expect solid storytelling from Mr. Chitwood and was not disappointed in his most recent effort. In fact, I was delighted that he once again created characters I loved to hate, scary characters, and heroic characters as well. His plotting is always strong, but it’s his characters that bring his mysteries to life (e.g., “Zig” and “Ape” are especially compelling in this story, two bad guys I found myself rooting for.). So, yet another gritty pageturner from one of our best mystery novelists. Highly recomended for lovers of crime fiction.

BUY SITES:

AMAZON US

AMAZON UK

AMAZON CANADA

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“SO”

stream-of-consciousness-saturday-2018-19

“SO”

“So”

“So?”

“Yeah, ‘So’!”

“So, what?”

“Just, ‘So’, that’s the word my finger hit on!”

“So, what the hell are you talking about?”

“So, I’m talking about the word, ‘So’! Each week, this batty lady gives us a word to do our ‘stream of consciousness’ thing. This week, she outdid herself, told us to open a book, close our eyes, and blindly put a finger on a spot on the page, then do the ‘stream thing’ using the word on which our finger landed. The page was from my currently ‘favorite book’, The Pickett Factor, and my finger landed on the word, ‘so’.”

“So, being a ‘Wiseacre’, you decided to make it all about you and your new book, The Pickett Factor?

“So, why the hell, not?”

“So, why, indeed! At times, you can be a moron!”

“Well, so I suppose (notice the word, suppose, it has ‘so’ backward – cute, huh?) … So, I was saying, uh, writing, I suppose that’s what I’m doing, having some fun with the word, ‘So’, at the same time, letting people know this new book of mine, did I mention the title? The Pickett Factor, is one terrific read and is likely destined for stardom, So Good, it could be a best seller.”

“So, well, you know, do you not? You’re going to be turning off people with your blatant attempt to push your new book down their throats?”

“So, hell, man, this batty lady gives me the chance! Why not take it. It could be I’ll turn So Many people onto the book that it just maybe might be a new inventive thing for book-ad schemes. Don’t you think? You know, ‘Stream Your Conscious Book to Stardom’. So, great idea, huh? You think?”

“So, No, I don’t think! You’re, you’re, well, you’re so darned inanely obvious, you’ll likely be banned from the lady’s weekly ‘SocCons’ event.”

“So, if I sell hundreds, or, thousands of my SEVENTEEN BOOKS, the lady could be of another persuasion, you know, SO impressed she will want me as her partner…”

“So, Please, Stop! Just, Stop! This ‘So’ business is driving me nuts! How’s about I order “The Pickett Factor” to the tune of, say, 100 copies, will that erase the embarrassment you should feel?”

“So, just 100 copies? With your money, you could buy 20,000 copies and start a The Pickett Factor Book Store and feature all seventeen of my books… WOW! SO AWESOME! Okay, okay, uncurl your fingers from those fists! So, I’ll become silent…so quiet…”

“So, stop with the whispering and let’s go get a ‘Maker’s Mark’ highball.”

Billy Ray Chitwood – November 2, 2018

For the nice ‘Linda-Lady’!

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Confused and Mystified

Confused and Mystified

Bill Chitwood

Confused and Mystified

Participating, watching others participate, wondering what and where is the magic in this digital mind-boggling world. You are a writer. You write because of need and because you have identified writing as the talent you most likely possess more than any other, because just maybe that activity keeps you alive and in tune with the world around you. You go through the spasms of depression, frustration, and an occasional adrenaline rush of encouragement and excitement.

Then, you take a look at the marketing aspects of selling your books, the various providers of platforms, tools, and applications. Perhaps, like me, you become aware of the specialized and confusing language used in the digital market places, things like Avatar, widgets, SEOs, RSS feeds, URLs, hash marks, and all of it somehow cannot seem to make sense to you. You become angry with yourself, with the computer and its devious foreign language, and with the madness of minds making life so much more complicated than it really needs be. You wonder what you should be doing that you are not doing but most of all how to do it. Could you have been selling more books and yourself if you had joined this group, used this platform, done this, done that?

Sure, you can hire someone for a tidy sum you think you can trust to take the marketing worries away that allows you to concentrate on your writing. Yet, you either feel not quite comfortable among the so-called professional or you are too money-tight to give it a try. So, you muddle on, writing good books – books that should be selling – and attempting a one-person publishing house. Is there an answer? Is there a Nirvana out there for you?

The odds might not be great, but you figure to keep on writing – because that’s what you love to do. Hopefully, before the grim reaper comes calling, a benevolent event, a magic will come your way and finally make all those moments at the laptop pay off. A Publishing deal with a handsome sign-up bonus? An Amazon selling spree that puts your books virally in the top echelon of the Indie market? Okay, more realistically, beautifully written and sincere heartfelt reviews may lack the money and fame but they do make you soar for a few moments in those heady clouds of success. Maybe that is all we can hope – that and learning the foreign language that is the internet.

Writing mimics life and weather! Just wait a few moments with the emotion you are currently feeling…it will soon pass and be replaced by another. Time is the arbiter of all things – it is here and gone!

Just in the time it took me to write this blog post, I became a famous writer! Talk about an emotional uplift… A good caring and loving spouse can do that for you.

Keep Writing! Good things can happen!

Billy Ray Chitwood – November 1, 2018

Hammers_Holy_Grail_Cover_for_Kindle

NOTE: If you’re into faith,family, abuse, love, redemption, please check out my NEW BOOK:

“Hammer’s Holy Grail” – It’s a great read ! 

Here’s a couple of Amazon Reviews to entice you:

Format: Kindle Edition
– by Gwen Plano –

*

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