Bubble of Existence

 solar_system_planet_planetary_system_221408

Bubble of Existence

-Stream of Consciousness-

She is silent in her sleep – sleep that each night comes swiftly for her.

Not swiftly for me does sleep come. My mind is in its normal reverie, going through the tangled days, weeks, years of my life, the emotional detritus left along the roads I’ve traveled, reliving each night with the ’why this, why that’ buffoonery of a poorly tailored life. There are also the childish gene pool thoughts of future heroic deeds, rescuing damsels in distress, heroically accomplishing amazing feats, saving lives, attaining greatness… yes, still there from a turbulent childhood environment.

It is a learned process, always a constant staple in my life, that is, until the nightly sleeping pill takes effect.

But, I digress!

The lady I watch in sleep is my hero, my Sancho Panza riding a donkey alongside Cervante’s ‘Don Quixote’, tilting windmills and running my ‘knight errands’. She is my one and only. She is my everything. She is part of God’s omnipresence in my life.

In my thoughts I see myself in a transparent bubble of existence, one-half of me inside the gauzy metaphor, the other half still watching my wife in repose. There is an apparition, a little girl with cute curly locks sitting, smiling down at my sleeping beauty from the bed’s headboard – the small lass my sleeping beauty once was (a little girl whose small photo I once kept in my wallet until it went missing).

I think of our lives together, the contrast of our genealogy, the years of joy, of building a business together, of nuclear-family gatherings at our cabin in the pines, at the non-working ranch we used for get-away from the city. She comes from a mature, stable, environment, has a DNA with all ‘loops’ orderly fashioned. She is gifted with a combination of high intelligence, common sense, and the love of conversation (when awake). She brings stability and patience to fight my grittiness.

 In her slumber I cannot see the rhythm of her breathing – and I recall a time prior when it alarmed me. She can fall asleep quickly and is mildly irked if I insist on chatting when we go to bed. She can sleep in one position all through the night, and there are these quaint occasional moments when I watch her in sleep and think about our many years together, how my sometime Appalachian heritage roars and rumbles, how she sits silently with that little girl smile until I see the futility and silliness of my words.

It is there, in those still-dark moments with my fanciful opining of love, life, and death, when I see her and the little girl essence. Then comes sadness, or, more likely, regretful thoughts with uninvited tears.

Our love is real, and, oh, I fear that ‘bubble’ and the insistence of my nature must wear thinly.

So, while darkness still rules the night sky, it is time to step from the ‘bubble existence’, get out of bed, and try to capture some of these thoughts on the laptop.

For whatever their worth is to me and the Universe.

Billy Ray Chitwood – January 3, 2018

Please Preview my books at:

http://billyraychitwood.com

Please follow me on:

http://twitter.com/brchitwood

Please follow this Blog:

http://brchitwood.com

1470749

     rwisa-oval-lavendar
23790251398809272 (1)

 

 

6 thoughts on “Bubble of Existence

Add yours

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

writing to freedom

words to inspire and empower

The Mystique Books

Celebrating Books!

When Women Inspire

You can make a positive impact too!

Come and Go Literary

Fiction, Nonfiction, and Poetry Journal

The Shower of Blessings

Giving and Receiving Blessings

thoughts and entanglements

A collective of poems and photos.

The Final Curtain1

BR Chitwood - MUSINGS: Authors - Books - The World

Hugh's Views & News

A man with dyslexia writing about this and that and everything else!

charles french words reading and writing

An exploration of writing and reading

Anna Dobritt -- Author

Where the imagination soars on glowing wings! May the words ever flow!

Annette Rochelle Aben

~ Communicator, WordSmith, Artist, Guide, Mentor, Muse ~

Cage Dunn: Writer, Author, Teller-of-tall-tales

Manic, obsessed, driven to story - all story. Read, write, think, do; dabble, plan, play, do. Do more - More - MORE!

Shannon A Thompson

You need the world, and the world needs good people.

The Angry Scribbler

Home of Kester James Finley

irevuo

art. popular since 10,000 BC

BREVITY's Nonfiction Blog

(Somewhat) Daily News from the World of Literary Nonfiction

Bette A. Stevens, Maine Author

A writer inspired by nature and human nature

Fiction Favorites

with John W. Howell

Nesie's Place

Totally Unsupervised!

Sean P Carlin

Writer of things that go bump in the night

roughwighting

Life in a flash - a weekly blog on daily living

Jean's Writing

Jean M. Cogdell, Author-Writing something worth reading, one word at a time in easy to swallow bite size portions.

Nutsrok

The humor and humanity of storytelling.

Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Simple observations, analysis, and common sense comments

Fiction in a Flash

Fiction in a Flash spins stories, short in appearance but big in essence. Some are specks of imagination while others reflect life itself.

Anneli's Place

Books, reading, writing....

Story Empire

Exploring the World of Fiction

Kate Gale: A Mind Never Dormant

The life of a writer/editor

K. D. Dowdall

Pen and Paper

dVerse

Poets Pub

Capt Jills Journeys

She sails the seven seas in search of FREEDOM

Journey

A personal view of my observations.

#FILMose

Crítica para quem gosta de Cinema.

Penny Wilson Writes

A Bit of Me in Every Key Stroke

Notes Tied On The Sagebrush

Writing About Life

Grass never grows on a busy street

"Hindsight & perforated toilet paper are what set man apart from the apes" : rbn bookmark

MakeItUltra™

Psychology to Motivate | Inspire | Uplift

Lorraine Ambers

Writer & Queen of Daydreams

Trent's World (the Blog)

Random Ramblings and Reviews from Trent P. McDonald

Nail Your Novel

Nail Your Novel - Writing, publishing and self-publishing advice from a bestselling ghostwriter and book doctor

Books and Such

YA author supporting other authors

The Ink Owl

"If you don't turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else's story." -Terry Pratchett

Emotional Shadows

where all emotions are cared for!

Shining Seeds

writing myself into wellness

Keith Kreates (closed)

Now at https://keithchanning.wordpress.com

%d bloggers like this: